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Walking the Blue Line...



7:00am running out the door to work I casually glanced down at pregnancy test.

POSITIVE!!

**3 weeks previous**
 I had my copper coil removed and we decided to 'see what happens'

3 weeks late my on period I should have been more suspicious however I honestly didn't think it would ever happen to me, especially not so soon but suddenly here I am glancing at the scariest line I have ever seen.
Truth be told, I burst into tears but not happy tears, tears of absolute shock and fear... I don't know if I am 'Adult' enough for this. I mean I didn't even fork out for the expensive Clear Blue test (£9.99, absolute joke) anyway I phoned Alex, pulled myself together and we decided to get a Clear Blue later that night.
To cut a long story short and and 2 clear blue tests later I am infact pregnant, now nearly 6 months and with a baby girl.

Was I happy about it... YES
Was I emotionally equipped to handle it... NO


The idea of a baby and actually having one is two very different things in my opinion.
The idea sounds great and no matter how much you attempt to prepare and think you're ready i don't think you ever are.
How can you prepare for a test on life? (that's not rhetorical, seriously i want to know how)
This is why i believe for the first 3 months you're allowed (within reason) to be a bit grumpy and moody. Yes we know our hormones blablabla but our minds are doing overtime too...

I'm going to get fat, can i eat that, i feel sick, money, work, money.

Best advise i can give...

yeah you will get probably will get fat and might even be sick in your car but people tell me it will be worth and and i really do believe them. Ever since i felt my little girl kick i knew i'd do anything for her.
BUT
It is OK to speak about the crap times, the excitement of getting your favourite dinner and the sheer devastation of throwing it straight back up, your body becoming unrecognisable, no one holding a proper conversation unless it is about baby grows and breast feeding or the fact you can't speak about anything else too.

The fact is it is hard and we should all have each others back. Rather than feel inadequate to other supermoms just look at how well you're doing.




Location: Glasgow, UK

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